Funny Quotes | Quotes make you laugh loud | Ideal Quotes ! Quotes on way

 If you are looking for the quotes to refresh your mind or for the sense of humor then you are in right place. Here we collect different funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. lets get start for funny quotes.    

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”– A. A. Milne

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

– Abraham Lincoln

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

– Albert Einstein

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

– Albert Einstein

“‘I don’t want a whole dessert; let’s just get two spoons.’ —Former friends of mine.”

—Anna Kendrick

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

– Benjamin Franklin

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!”

– Billy Connolly

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”

― Cathy Guiswite

“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”

– Charles Wadsworth

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”

– Christopher Morley

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

- Clint Eastwood

“Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”

– Daniel J. Boorstin

“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”

– Edward Abbey

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

- Ellen DeGeneres

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

– Emo Philips

“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

– Emo Philips

“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

– Ernest Hemingway

“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”

– Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”

– Fred Allen

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. 

- George Burns

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”

– Gertrude Stein

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

- Jack Benny

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”

― Jerry Seinfeld

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

- Jim Carrey

“I recently asked a student where his homework was. He replied, ‘It’s still in my pencil.'” 

—Larry Timmons.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

- Mae West

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

- Margaret Mead

“It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”

― Marilyn Monroe

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

—Nora Ephron

“My parents said marrying was an optimistic thing to do in pessimistic times.”

 —Olivia Wilde

Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.

- Thor Heyerdahl

“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.”

—Reese Witherspoon

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

- Ron White

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

- . H. Auden

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor